Everyone roars apart from me. I can feel Jane looking at me, trying to think of something to say.
“Josh told me you were in Hong Kong,” she says pleasantly.
“That’s right.”“I was in Singapore for 2 years. I really fell in love with Asia. The food, the people, the culture.”
“Not the same thing,” I tell her.
“Excuse me?”
“Not the same thing. Hong Kong and Singapore. It’s the difference between a rainforest and a golf course. Singapore being the golf course.”
“You don’t like Singapore?” she says, her face crumpling.
“Too sanitized,” I say firmly. “Singapore is nothing like Hong Kong. Didn’t somebody once say that Singapore is Disneyland with the death penalty?”
Jane sadly turns her face to the fancy salad before her.
“When were you ever in Singapore, Alfie?” Josh (host of the dinner) demands.
“What?” I say, playing for time.
“I said ..’when were you ever in Singapore?’”. He is not smiling at me anymore. “I don’t recall you ever going to Singapore but suddenly you are the big expert.”
“I’ve never been to Singapore.” I say with an infuriating smugness.
“Then you don’t really know what you’re talking about, do you?” Josh says.
“I know I wouldn’t like it.”
“How do you know that?”
“I wouldn’t like anywhere that they say is like Disneyland with the death penalty.”
“Singapore Sling,” Lily says. We all look at her as if she is mental. “Fine cocktail,” she adds……..then they are all yakking about their favourite cocktails.
- One for My Baby
By Tony Parsons
* Dunno if I should laugh or cry at this one. Just feels weird to be reading about your country in a gwai lo's book*
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