Shen has left...

On 15 Jan, I blogged with enthusiam that ole friend Shen was back. Well, he's long gone back to Scotland. It was a much shorter trip than expected but then, it reflected success on his part so good for him! He can finally move on.

And finally also, he's sent me some pics we took. Notwithstanding the lack of focus and wonderful 'scenery' (it was at a hawker centre and nonetheless, extremely local and apt for someone who hasn't seen anything quite like it for the past few years), the subject matter is dear to me - pals whom I've known for almost a decade and who's seen me in my horrible states.

Moving on...

Relax, I only mean in my literary interest. I can't seem to go with the flow - I didn't like "The Five People You Meet in Heaven"...maybe I felt the style is too similar to his previous work and as if I was reading repetition with nothing more to explore.

Chey...I sound like some professional critic. I dare not. Anyway my decision to move on to another BOOK is largely because I finally found another one by Jodi Picoult- Keeping Faith. My days on the train back home from work will be brighter. :)

Go Leo Go!

I've watched almost all the movies he's starred in since "What's Eating Gilbert Grape?". Thinking back, I am quite sure it wasn't his appeal that made me decide on watching them, still each time, I was left impressed by one reason or another (hence, even in "Titanic"). Having recently watched Blood Diamond, I'm rooting for this guy even more.

And so I reeeeeally hope Leonardo DiCaprio wins Best Actor this year. Hee.

PS: Yes Say, I actually forget to let you know besides Christian Bale, I am also pro-DiCaprio. The 1974 babes!

Laughter

Let me get out of my moping for once.

I watched this French (what else) comedy yesterday - Diner De Cons (The Dinner Game). 72 minutes of utter pleasure. The Frenchies really do it best! A must-see!

Also, thanks to Say for wanting to see me over lunch. He knew I spelt disaster after what happened but he was brave. I am waiting for more sessions in his shirt, tie and specs.

Laughter is truly the best medicine.

Interviewee no show

I was supposed to have an interview with a 35-year-old today. 30 minutes ago. But HR had to call her only to find out that she is "still on the way". 10 minutes on and there is still no sign.

This is disgusting. Maturity and sense of responsibility are truly not determined by age. Neither can a wide range of experience say anything about how good a staff is (10 years but maybe she f*cked up in 8 out of the 10 years?? Experience is over-rated). So what do we go by when we hire someone?!

WORSE DAY OF MY LIFE - Part 2

With all the resentment towards everyone, we drove out of the crematorium slowly and aimlessly.

There can only be a few sources of 'therapy' for me to help me get over myself. Sms to close friends, watching how Mong did in school (yes, we quietly drove past the school) and food. After a worse-than-any-other-day plate of Hokkien mee, fantastic Indian rojak and lovely teh-si, I felt much better. By the time it came to fetching Becks from school, I wasn't such a wreck anymore.

Still, the days will be long.

WORST DAY OF MY LIFE (to date)

Not exaggerating.

I have been deeply misunderstood and misinterpreted. I think in movies or books, they say if your conscience is clear, there is nothing to worry about. BULLSHIT! What makes it worse is realising there probably is not gonna be a chance to explain yourself, that you meant well and you tried. A part of me wants to disappear from them forever but another part of me wants to do good again, to prove that I am not irresponsible, ever.

My favourite cousin, Irene (and also very fortunately has become my very close friend) came back from UK just for this. I also appreciate her call, for defending me strongly to her dad (my big Uncle) and for giving me invaluable advice. She flies back tomorrow morning and will definitely be sorely missed.

Family...you love to hate them...but you can't.

PS: So :B, if you are reading this, take it from me. You dunno the whole story but I just want you to know you can't take them for granted. You gotta quit whining cos a part of me feels like quitting the friendship.

Company's Dinner

This year was different. We had a marquee by the beach, right outside Rasa-Sentosa.

But then, some things remained the same. My luck, or the lack of it. $100 voucher. BAH!!!!!!!!!!!

Friends...(topic revisited)

I think I've touched upon this subject in one of my entries before. I just need to blog about it again today because the feelings are back, intense.

When we were younger, we would easily tag someone we like as our 'best friend'. Someone we like - it's as innocent and simple as that. As we get older, this tag becomes almost impossible to attach to anyone because we have higher expectations and hence, our definition of a 'good friend' changes drastically. Also, we have different facades and some people may bring that one side of you much more easily than others so we meet Friend A for meals and easy banter, B for confiding in serious matters and advice, C for sharing joy and happiness, D for sports/clubbing, etc.

If I think about it *sheepish*, I do have some friends who are a combination of all that and I cherish them through my frequent contacts and meetings as much as I can manage. But there are others whom upon reflection, barely stop to listen to me and so I find myself beginning to stop talking, stop sharing and only focus on what they want to talk about.

I believe most of us self-indulge once in a while but we can't forget there are friends around who allow us to and like every other single matter, there is always a need to have time-out.

Let's have a little self-consciousness and empathy from today.

Grandma's passing...

I was never close to her but when I was younger, I loved staying over because the flat bore a complicating structure which made hide-n-seek very thrilling to play. I also remembered being given a red jade bangle which my mom made me wear, only to smash it to pieces a few weeks later.

And the last I saw her was in May when twins Aidan and Ian celebrated their one-month. She was always reserved, seemingly stoic, only choosing to be close to her favourite grandchildren.

She slipped on a puddle of water in the kitchen last month which had her hospitalized for days. As part of protocol perhaps, she was given a thorough check-up and doctors found her lungs infected beyond recognition. During her hospitalization, many people went to visit her and she was given an operation. After getting the all-clear, she stayed at my dai kaofu's (Big Uncle) place and all seemed well until 3am this morning. She stopped breathing.

Sis told me Grandma knew...that the fall was meant to be, for people to see her awake the last time and vice versa. I am very saddened by this relevation. I wonder when people don't show/feel any exterior physical signs of dying, do they already know their time is near?

Michelin just lent me The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom. I haven't started reading it yet but I flipped the 1st page, just yesterday, and found Albom started the beginning with an ending. He said that endings are also beginnings. We just didn't know it at that time. And so "goodbye" may not be the correct word and death shouldn't be so negative (and frightening) afterall......

Lunch

Happy reunion pals!!! Next stop: Zouk???!!

Meh-hee-co

I'm a little frazzled yet explosive today. Not sure why but it could have been my mom (again)....but nothing serious this time.

So anyway, I feel like blogging something bimbotic and random. No concern to our everyday lives, to Iraq War, to the impending GST rise, to the latest trend. Well.............maybe to the latest trend. I believe the papers cited him as the next Antonio Banderas (how can???) - but they got it right for one. Gael Garcia Bernal is Mexican and he is great. To look at in terms of appearance and acting.

Forget about Korean actors lah...this hottie will make you sit right up. :P

Shen returns!

It was a daring move but I managed to skive for 1.5 hours this morning.

I rarely hug people. I dun like it...the touchy-feely of it, the mushiness but seeing Shen made me speechless and I just wanted to embrace this good ole friend whom I haven't seen in years. Not as long as some friends but well, it's hard to put in words.

I finally met his partner, Peter too and brought them to eat my favourite prata and teh tarik. 1.5 hours too short but 1.5 hours fabulously spent nonetheless.


PS: Zouk for good ole days?? :P

How do I divide thyself?

Becks and Mong are growing up fast, physically. They weigh about 18 and 12kg respectively and have been clamouring for my attention of late. "Mummy, carry me!" They'd cry out in unison.

So...do I take turns? Who do I pick up first without the other feeling jealous? How do I minimize my physical damage (the soreness on my left is started to throb, the first since my surgery)? How do I not do it excessively so as to encourage?

2 (kids) is truly enough...................

:B returns!

Finally we managed to sit down for a long chat over a meal and teh si...after 2 months plus. :B returns for a week for business in her hometown.

The 3 of us had a lot of fun with the boobs and penis chocolates she brought back. The Japanese are really amazing. Sex sells in any form.

Last till a long long time............

The usual 4-some lunch was great...it's probably the last one till a long long time.
Sis will depart this Friday morning, the timing scheduled deliberately to avoid soapy farewells.

And my 2nd oh-nee this week. It's been some time since we had a family dinner. I took a few nice pics with sis. Will post only when I dare to (haha).

Lunch with Jess

Jess has been a good friend since college days. She studied in Canada and worked there since, coming back only occasionally. So for her to return this time after 2 years, I was very keen on catching up with her.

The 1st thing she said when she met me was: "Can we go to a place where there is ice kachang?"

Heh. I forget the simple pleasures in life...in Singapore.

PS: Favourite pals :B and Shen are returning for a while too! :)

Co-ordination (part 2)

I knew the price to pay for such clumsiness would be an ulcer. So when I felt pain whenever I ate (more so for spicy foods), I tried to stay optimistic by reminding myself this is all temporary. But the pain persisted for days and this morning, I flipped out my lower lip only to see not 1, not 2 but 3 big ulcers!

bcc

You know which kind of colleague/boss I detest most????????

Those who like to bcc inappropriately, in other words, ABUSING the use of it, solely for selfish and sneaky reasons. I just found out that an email which my boss sent me pertaining to a sensitive issue was bcc to my HR. Thanks to big-and-itchy-mouthed CF (if you have been following my blog, CF is HR Manager), the minute she saw me come into the office this morning, she came to me and went: "Wow, the man is heated up isn't he?"

My mind reeled back to all the past emails which he had sent and I wonder which had been bcc-ed and to whom. Shudder...that bastard.

Growing Up

Mong is growing up fast! He went to school by himself this morning. Waved bye bye to my mom...and boarded it expectantly.

It does get better each day. :)

Yam paste dessert

The food at the Teochew restaurant has not disappointed so far. The oh-nee (yam paste) with pumpkin paste and gingko nuts is soooo diabetic sweet but so good! I like it when guests come. I get to eat these things which I otherwise wouldn't pay out of my own pocket. :P

HE DID IT!

My dearest Mong came home from school by himself on the school bus!!!!!!!!!!!! It's a huge milestone...for me! I AM SO HAPPY!!! *beaming*

Co-ordination

I have been chewing for 3 decades....but I bit my lip twice on the same spot, on separate occasions.

Am I losing my sense of co-ordination???!!!

"Mane" gone

Angie brought me to the salon for a haircut.

Finally my horrid "mane" is gone. I feel so much lighter. Washing hair is easier, saving me time, energy and shampoo. Not kidding. Should have done this many moons ago but as usual, finding the time (and willingness) was tough.

#01-61

This stall that sells char kway teow at Kovan hawker centre has an endless flow of customers.
Finally after several failed attempts, I got to eat it. So happiness with a capital H fell on Saturday 10am...after sending Becks to her lesson. There I was, savouring the pieces, sipping my teh si and reading The Pact (yes yes I'm still at it after 1 month +?!).

Next week is M's turn. He's waited long enough. :D

My time...my space

I could have cancelled my leave.

With both the troops in school, I spent the morning watching Lemming with the volume way up and without earphones (trust me, this is VERY rare)....taking in the beauty of French language, something I doubt I will tire of.

I thought of my boss calling out my name for the tiniest of things and the luxury of having NOTHING important to do at home, literally staring at the ceiling...that thrilled me. And so I stayed at home alone. I LOVE IT!!! *I'm so deprived lately...*

Mong's 1st day of School!

For lack of inspiration to blog long and lack of vocabularly, I shall summarize it in one word: TOUGH.

Physically and emotionally and mentally. For me.

As for him, I am sure it had been emotional too. The separation anxiety was immense. I can't do this again tomorrow. Time to request for my good ole old lady (my mom!) to help.

It has been a very difficult period adjusting. Day and night. But I will not relinquish. It's time for my boy to grow up anyways...and this he shall...and will for sure. I stay optimistic by choosing to see the 'light at the end of the tunnel'.

Missed...

And so, Mong missed this 1st official day of school. After tripping over and falling flat on his lip *ouch* just minutes before the school van arrived. Sigh.

Tomorrow will be a better day!